Me and Dad

Dad

Miss you. Things have been very hard without you here and we are all trying to survive. Can't wait to see you again. Part of me is gone now. 

My cousin Lillians story

Lillian once told me that one day my dad noticed that she was having a hard time with her mom and others when she was a kid. My dad took her from the room and drove her down to Sees candies and they bought a big box of chocolate. They drove around and ate them until almost all of it was gone, then said "we better leave some for everyone else" and brought a few back to the group.

My dad always made the kids feel good and loved them.  On my cousin Lillian's birthday she received a box from him...it was a box of Rocky Road chocolates.  He always cared for everyone and had a heart of gold.

Dad with Rio

Gary's wedding, Dad, Nancy

Garys Wedding.

Mom, Dad, Rio, Dylan

Mom and Dad 2012

He wasn't that happy with dancing but did whatever Mom wanted to do.

My mom likes to dance, but you can see that he wasn't that happy with his picture getting taken. He looked great that day. No matter how uncomfortable, he still would do for others.

A day at golden gate fields.

Dad and Mom met the Jocky and got quite a few pictures with him. I believe in this picture he was bout 64.

Rio, my dads third child.

Rio was raised by my mom and dad from when she was a puppy. My dad never had dogs in the house and he instantly fell in love with her. He always told me that he would do anything for her and that Rio was family, not just a dog. She was his heart. The day and weeks to come after we put Rio down broke my dads heart. He couldnt talk about her or even want to have anything to do with dogs. He knew that she was special and was different from other dogs. Rio wouldnt eat when he was gone and she knew he was her father. His nickname for her was "kirker". My moms was "precious".  Rio never once in 11 years bit anyone or strayed away. She owned the court they live in and would mind them no matter what they said.

His new TV. Finally got a nice one.

The day dad came home from his second knee surgery, we surprised him with a new HD TV. He loved it. This was a picture a month after his knee started to heal. He was walking great. He watched alot of TV, and loved his old cowboy shows.  Dirty Jobs, Pawn Shop, and of course the Giants and 49ers.

Mom and Dad in New Mexico

Korean War - Age 22

Dad at age 22. Picture taken in Korea. 2 years after marriage to mom.  He showed me his brothers Purple heart that he got when he was killed in Okinawa Japan. His brother died at age 18.

Turkey days...1980s

Dad always was the one to cut the meat for everyone. Guess he was having fun with this one.

Dad, Rob, Rio

Dad and I

Dad and Rio

Mom and Dad at the Eagles Club

Every time they would go to the Eagles club for events, my Dad would say "I dont wanna go, I dont care to go" but he ALWAYS had a good time. Its just the way he did things. He had to wear longer shirts then because the sun would bother his skin and he would get rashes.

Losing my uncle and my grandmother.

One year prior to my fathers sickness my grandmother Isabel "nana" past away at the age of 93. My father always did anything he could for her as she got older. I remember going to her trailer to fix things  with my dad when I was younger. We finally moved her down to my fathers duplex and took care of her with various people and my aunt Lorie until she passed. My father and mother were by her side along with her other family members. My uncle Tommy passed away a year later from the effects of sclarederma. The nights before, we visited Tommy in the hospital one last time one by one alone. This must have been hard for my father knowing he had a sickness also. He was cured in his own mind.

Dads victory over AML.

My fathers trials he overcame in the past 3 years:

My father had severe headaches for 2 weeks that would not go away. I would come over and he would be in his chair holding his head. I would ask him if hes ok and he would say "yes" just damn headaches. He finally broke down and we took him into the hospital for an MRI in the morning. I got a phone call from my mom around 6am and she said to get over to the hospital and that  they told him he had a chronic subdermal hematoma. Bleeding in the brain. The bleeding was so bad they rushed him into surgery in an ambulance up to Redwood City that next hour. They were surprised he was still alive. He was talking fine, felt fine, just a bit worried as we were. That day was extremely scary and very stressful for me, my sister and my mother. They performed a bur hole procedure and drained the blood from his head. The doctor came out and told us everything went well although he had a seizure on the operating table as his brain went back to normal size. The blood had pushed the brain and compressed it almost 50%.

Three rough nights in the hospital and got sick a few times on the medication they were giving him. He was moaning, having strange pains in his body and basically went through a war recovering those next days. I slept there with other trauma brain patients next to him in the chair, he moaned and kicked all night long and threw up. At one point I rushed down hall looking for a nurse at 3am because he was having extreme pain in his legs. Nurses finally took him down for a ultra sound to check for blood clots. They found nothing. It may have been the process of healing those next days getting out of the anesthesia.

After that...he went home.  No headaches, no problems, he felt very good. They just wouldn't let him drive for 3 months and that bothered him the most. He got bored. The cause of this injury we figured was he hit his head 3months prior doing some work on the house and got up and hit his head on a kitchen drawer. For older people the small vessels can break in the lining of the brain and start bleeding.

Our fear continued thinking it may start up again, we never knew. It was always worrying and wondering if his head would start bleeding by itself........it never did.

A year later, my father had extreme pain in his side....we rushed him to the hospital and found that he had to take his gall bladder out. It had ruptured or had some sort of  problem. I had never seen anyone in so much pain. We didn't know what was wrong with him so this was quite scary until they told us. Of course they got him into surgery fast.  Next day.....he was fine. No pain. The strength he showed was amazing. My father continued to fight through things and he had never been sick his entire life. This was all new to him.

My father had a football injury when he was young and had a very bad knee from it. As he got older the pain increased and he needed a knee transplant to help him live without pain and enjoy life again. He was a hard worker and always active. At the time of his surgery he was 77 years old. He got through the full knee transplant and had a pretty rough recovery because he had full anesthesia. Took him a month to get around and start walking and the pain was very severe. He healed quickly and then two months later he was walking but the second knee started hurting. We thought he was doing great. His scar was barely noticeable also. He looked good.

A few months after this he got sick with the flu, my sister was also sick so  he went into the hospital for tests and they assumed it was some infection of some sort. After further testing and a bone marrow biopsy and two days in hospital they said they found something but were not sure what it was. They were going to do more tests but didnt know what they were seeing. They asked many questions about his past and what he did. Of course come to find out, these were doctor residents that kept coming in saying that things were ok but they just were not sure about the cells and what kind of infection he had. After further review, the head onocologist came in with head of department and said they think its leukemia. Then they said they didnt think so. Then came back and said it was. Horrible day to be played around with like that.

AML is essentially Leukemia. Basically a persons bone marrow does not make mature red blood cells and the "immature" blood cells crowd out the "mature" blood cells, hence killing the immune system. People then have various other problems. The cancer is extremely aggressive, and harder for elderly people to survive it or go into remission.

This was probably the hardest day of my life along with my moms and my sisters. The doctor came in and told him that he had maybe 2 weeks to live. 2 weeks!!!!! or possibly 2 months! They recommended  that he get on decitabin a chemotherapy that may help him immediately and prolong his life to some extent but how long they wouldn't say.  The doctors all say this and to some extent yes they are correct but they definitely do not help the patient by giving them such news and bringing their moral down.  My dad took it in stride and said "its too soon" he was stressed out on all the things he had to do.

As our world flipped upside down we waited patiently for the next few days until he had his first dose of chemo. That in it self was very scary and not knowing how he would react. He also had fibrillation in his heart that also scared us. We didn't know anything about Leukemia and or how it does what it does. All  I knew was I had a a friend pass away from it at a young age and I knew when I picked up my sister and was upset that this was going to be a long hard road ahead.

A few weeks went by and my father was sent home. We all wore masks and so did he so he wouldn't get an infection. We had Rio running around and tried to keep her away but my dad still kept her by his side. We watched him and waited and made sure he didn't get any infections or fevers. He had a few during these next weeks and we brought him in for tests to make sure he got on antibiotics. Infections can kill someone with leukemia.

The next month was rough, but we waited for the next bone marrow. My mom went with him. It is a huge needle they stick into your hip bone and take out marrow. It hurts and is tough. My dad did it well and went through it.

A month later, his tests came back negative. The leukemia was gone. He was in remission! It was a miracle. They said he had 2 weeks!

The next year was every two weeks chemo, he would take himself in and read a book at kaiser. He felt great. He got his weight back, his mood had always been good, thats something he never lost. He was always one to be happy and not to bring others down.

I on the other hand had  a rough next year. I watched his infections here and there and blood work weekly. I was scared but I had to keep an eye on things because they really didnt know what the numbers meant. I did. I did my research. It was very stressful.

This site even though my father did not use the computer, is dedicated to his memory and the amazing ways he touched and changed peoples lives. Hopefully it will also help those who have went through the trials my father has and remind us that the spirit of someone is much stronger than the body that was born to break down.

- R. Metzgar